I can’t tell you how many times I’ve talked myself out of something or convinced myself I wasn’t able to accomplish a certain goal. This is all chatter in my own head, and most of the time I listen to the negative, self-doubting side of it.
Why do we do this? Great ideas and what could potentially be a huge accomplishment are squashed before they are even given a chance. The sad part is, we are all capable of doing whatever we desire but we are usually the ones that get in the way even if others believe in us.
The problem lies in most all of us. It’s the fear of failing. No one likes the idea of putting 100 percent effort in to something in which they think they can’t experience success.
Let go of that fear! James provides some great words on this topic.
Strength & Fitness Team Lead
Article Written by James Clear
Most of us will do just about anything to avoid failure. (Why do you think celebrities, congressmen, and athletes say and do so many stupid things to cover up scandals of all types? They desperately want to avoid failure as long as possible.)
I think this is natural. Nobody wants to fail. On a smaller scale, you and I also want to prevent failure. And that’s why we come up with reasons for why we shouldn’t do things that we want to do. And it’s also why we abandon our ideas as soon as we get any type of negative feedback.
But here’s the thing…
No rarely means impossible. No rarely means never. Usually, if someone tells you “no” what they really mean is “not right now” or “not in that way.”
Keeping that in mind, I’ve started to follow a simple rule that helps me get past negative feedback and gives me a little bit more perseverance when I would normally call it quits.
Here’s the rule: Don’t give up at the first, “No.”
Maybe it’s you telling yourself no. Maybe it’s someone else shooting you down.
Either way, don’t stop the first time you hear no. Negative feedback is a signal to adjust your idea, not to abandon it. There’s no reason to act as if you’re destined to fail. Instead, use the word no as a trigger to tweak your approach.
How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
If you set your bar at “amazing,” it’s awfully difficult to start.
One common reason we tell ourselves no is because we don’t think we’re ready yet. “I’m not experienced enough.” Or, “I need to learn more.” Or, “I need to figure out a better plan first.”
We do this because we want to succeed right from the beginning.
But, I’m starting to realize that the time has come to abandon the need to be amazing in favor of taking action. You don’t need to be fantastic at the start, you just need to be there at the start.
When you start your first business, you’ll probably make a thousands mistakes. When you write the first draft of your book, it will probably be terrible. When you ask someone out for the first time, you’ll probably say something stupid. When you go to the gym for the first time, you’ll probably feel out of place. When you surround yourself with people who are better than you, you’ll probably feel untalented or unintelligent.
If you’re in this for the long haul, then this won’t be the only time you do these things. There will be plenty of time to become amazing. Anything can happen once you get started, but only if you get started.
Of course, if you really want to, then you can dream up reasons for why now isn’t the right time, this isn’t the right place, and you’re not quite ready … but I don’t think that’s your job.
It’s not your job to tell yourself no. It’s not your job to deny yourself opportunities. It’s not your job to prevent your own progress. There are enough people in the world who will do those things for you.
Your job is to embrace rather than ignore. Your job is to pursue rather than prevent. Your job is to tell yourself “yes” instead of “no.”
That’s your job.
Written by James Clear